Denial both protects and harms us.
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п"It can't be true"
"It couldn't have happened to me"
"It can't be true"
"I never imagined it"
"I'm not ready"
"They made a mistake"
"When I get home, they'll tell me it didn't happen."
"Don't leave me now"
These thoughts and many others come to mind when we have just heard the worst of the news, when faced with a death, catastrophe, accident, attack....
In reality these thoughts are mechanisms of protection of our psyche, before situations that we are not able to support, that we did not expect and that, for that reason we are not prepared to accept.
This is denial, it is nature's way of protecting us from the excessive pain and suffering of loss. It is an adaptive strategy that helps us to face the situation in order to survive and to dose the impact and pain.
Denial is necessary, because we gain time to assimilate reality little by little, in doses acceptable to our psyche. It allows us to survive in a world full of changes, events and unexpected circumstances, which we would never have imagined, and for which we would never have been prepared.
At the same time, with denial we enter the first stage of the mourning process, along which other stages follow, which help us to go through the mourning process until we overcome it and accept it.
After denial, Anger and anger make us look for someone to blame for what happened, after it the negotiation, so we would do anything to change the reality, continues the Sadness and feeling of emptiness before the loss, and finally the Acceptance, allows us to resume our life, even with the grief, we accept that it is a reality and that we have to continue living.
Since grief necessarily involves a journey through the different stages, it is important to know that denial is one more and the first, from which we must leave, and continue through the rest of the stages, in order to overcome the pain and suffering before the loss.
Otherwise, if we remain stuck in denial, it becomes a maladaptive mechanism, which will paralyze us in the past, preventing us from returning to the present life, not accepting reality, and being submerged in unlimited suffering, which can lead to a mood disorder.
Hence the importance of living each of the stages of mourning, starting in denial, and culminating with the incorporation into the new life, in the new reality, thus accepting what happened, disappearing the suffering and pain for it.
The realization
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